Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
