Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize