Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I will pee on everything he values.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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