he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
