On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
