On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
