i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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