I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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