you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
