And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
