Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
