so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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