what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize