i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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