I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
