that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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