Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
