This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
