Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
