I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just puked most of my soul out..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize