god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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