big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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