So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
