lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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