booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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