Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
