so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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