big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
