What a fucking waste of an outfit
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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