I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
