I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
