yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
