So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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