im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
