Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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