she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize