i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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