Where is the hickey?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
