why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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