Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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