She said her name was "party"
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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