We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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