after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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