My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
