Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
