The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
