Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
