He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
