Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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