Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
