remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
