i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
