i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Watching her eat just hurts me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
