u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
