no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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