I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
