And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
