yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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