This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
