Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
