he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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