I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize