his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
