Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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