And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
