We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Im part way to drunk.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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