I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize