i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
