You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The power of my boobs compel you
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
