I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize