Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
