she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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