he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
